My heart is so full.
Navruz Palace. Dushanbe, Tajikistan.Ever since I entered in my forties, I made a promise that I’d self-gift with a solo travel somewhere in the world on my birthday. Last year, I explored all over Malaysia and unraveled a land full of complex multiculturalism. The year before, I ventured into the Balkans and particularly sank into enormous peace at ease in Albania. Yet, by the end of July this year, I had been to 15 countries. When it came to time for planning another trip, even if solo travel always spawned immense joy, I felt drained.
All the actions escorted by the act of traveling shot me with hulking fatigue. Packing, unpacking, airports, lounges, taxis, Google Map, trying different foods and uncovering hidden gems…everything summed up to my head turning the other way.
2024 started at the Trevi Fountain in Rome, tasted some of the world’s most delicious tapas in Barcelona, admired vibrant architectures in the Persian Gulf, drank limitless pints of Guinness while stomping my feet to traditional Irish tunes in both Ireland and Northern Ireland, danced to Taylor Swift and cheered on Team USA during the Olympics all in the same arena at La Défense, followed the prosperous path of the ancient Silk Road in Central Asia, engulfed by eternal flames in Turkmenistan’s gas craters, and summer ended with overlooking intricately carved wooden pillars that uphold majestic mosques in Uzbekistan.
Understandably yet unexpectedly, all I wanted to do for my birthday this year, was to stay put in Paris. A few months of solitude – snuggling up in my cozy apartment, laying in bed and do absolutely nothing – put a giant smile on my face. Although, this didn’t happen. But the celebration came with a different kind of solitude. Sweet tenderness with the people I love, in a familiar cocoon close enough to Paris. And of course, with lots of champagne in various colors, quite emblematic of this kaleidoscopic year.
Funny enough, as birthday wishes rolled in from all corners of the world, I had one simple reply: my heart is so full.
So, this is 44. It’s taking control of your life. It’s coloring outside of the lines. It’s resting in an inner peace which resides deep within. It’s positive energy. It’s realizing the vision, whatever that vision may be. It’s flirting with the wonders of the world. It’s grappling with all aspect of your superpowers and letting them flow. It’s shameless. It’s walking in stride. It’s learning from past mistakes. It’s possessing the courage to confront pain and traumas. It’s about evolving. It’s confidence. It’s drawing boundaries. It’s recognizing seasons, relaying it to time and people. It’s reflecting inward while shining brighter for others. It’s welcoming the new, treasuring the sincerity. It’s being fully present for the ones you love, especially for the ones who deserve your love. It’s bearing a constant curiosity and allowing it to roam in discovery. It’s living boldly. It’s understanding the importance of self care. It’s the indulgence of recharge.
15 countries in a half year is enormous, now I know. I will also know when I’ll be ready to traverse again.
44. What a privilege it is to live this beautiful life. Especially, when it comes with a heart so graciously humbled. So wonderfully full.
Love,
