Never say g’day.
Vegemite is not just a spread to us. It is a way of life. If you hate the taste (which there is a 100% chance you will), grit your teeth, smile, and gracefully spit into your napkin when the providers back is turned.
It is perfectly acceptable to roam and explore barefoot. Glass to an Australian foot barely tickles.
On another foot related note, if a woman tells you she is shopping for thongs, that is acceptable. It is also acceptable for a man to shop for thongs. These are G rated terms and Australians will not bat an eyelid at hearing them.
If you’re a self-confessed Instagram addict, that loves photos of views, embark on the cliff walk connecting Bondi Beach to Bronte Beach. It is known to locals as ‘Bondi to Bronte.’ #nofilterneeded
For serious beach lovers, whilst Bondi is great, Perth beaches are greater, but Queensland beaches are greatest. If you want to know what its like to live in a postcard, Whitehaven beach is calling you.
Suncream. What we lack in ozone, we make up for in SPF. Unless you would like to end up looking like a very embarrassed lobster, invest in some.
Luna Park theme park is a rite of passage and the most overpriced fun you will have.
Drinking goon (cheap Australian wine in the form of a silver bag) is also a rite of passage and the cheapest fun you will have. When you are sleep deprived as a result of your alcoholism, the empty, inflated bag doubles up as a pillow. Score!
It is perfectly acceptable to call Mcdonald’s ‘maccas’ – in fact it is frowned upon to use the former.
Brace yourselves when visiting Melbourne. It can go from winter to summer in 0.001 seconds. And then back again. Always take your jacket.
Never say g’day. We don’t even say g’day. Unless you’re up for a game of ‘spot the tourist.’ Or you’re from South Australia.
Forget dogs, cats or rabbits. The standard household pet in Australia is the huntsman spider (unintentionally.) Warning: do not search in google images if you would ever like to sleep again.
‘Woop Woop’ is a broad term for a location that is either deemed far away, you are unsure of its whereabouts, or you are just too lazy to travel to it.
Regardless of where you’re from in the world, P.Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney will always be your go to Sydney address.
So forget g’day, mate and shrimp on the barbie, here is a quick vocabulary lesson to learn the language of the natives. All you need to do is abbreviate everything.
Arvo – Afternoon
Bikkie – Biscuit
Chewie – Chewing gum
Cossie – Swimming costume
*Footy – Football
Garbo – Garbage collector
Mozzie – Mosquito
Tradie – Tradesman
Uni – University (College)
*Brush up on your footy knowledge if you would like to gain the ultimate acceptance. It is not a sport. It is a religion. Some would go as far to call it a cult. If you’re going to wear a striped scarf when walking the streets of Australia, make sure you are in the correct suburb or you may not make it out alive.
Even though Justin Bieber fails to remember if he’s been down under, the memories you make here will ensure that you never will.
Disclaimer: No kangaroos were harmed in the production of this article. Written by a vegemite hating, maccas eating, thong wearing girl who is petrified of spiders, lives in woop woop and has never even been to a footy match.
Article written by Carly Brand.